I have a message for you, a very sad message
My subject for this evening will be
Little Bo Peep
It says here, Little Bo Peep
Who was a little girl
Has lost her sheep
And doesn't know where to find them
Now that's reasonable, isn't it
It's, it's reasonable to assume
If Little Bo Peep had lost her sheep
It's only natural
That she wouldn't know where to find them
That, that basically is reasonable
But, uh, "leave them alone
Now that overwhelms me
Completely overwhelms me
The man said she lost her sheep
Turns right around and boldly states
"She doesn't know where to find them"
And then has the stupid audacity to say
"Leave them alone"
Now, now, now think for a moment, think
If the sheep were lost,
And you couldn't find them
You'd have to leave them alone, wouldn't you
So, leave them alone
Leave them alone
It's in the book
Leave them alone and they
They being the sheep, "they will come home"
Ah yes, they'll come home
Oh, there'll be a brighter day tomorrow
They will come home
It's in the book
They will come home a-waggin' their tails
Pray tell me what else could they wag
They will come home a-waggin' their tales
Behind them, behind them
Did we think they'd wag them in front
Of course, they might have come home in reverse
They could have done that, I really don't know
But, none the less
It's in the book
So now if you will, kindly pick up your books
And turn to page 222
We'll ask you all to sing
You'll find your books on the backs of your seats
Are we ready
Everyone, 222
Let's really enjoy ourselves
Let's live it up
All together
Do you remember grandma's lye soap
Good for everything in the home
And the secret was in the scrubbing
It wouldn't suds and couldn't foam
Then let us all sing right out of grandma's
Of grandma's lye soap
Used for, for everything
Everything on the place
For pots and kettles
The dirty dishes
And for your hands and for your face
Shall we now sing the second verse
Let's get it with great exuberance, let's live it up
It's not raining inside tonight
Everyone, let's have a happy time
Are we ready
All together, the second verse
Little Herman and brother Thurman
Had an aversion to washing their ears
Grandma scrubbed them with the lye soap
And they haven't heard a word in years
Then let us all sing right out of grandma's
Of grandma's lye soap
Sing all out, all over the place
The pots and kettles, the dirty dishes
And also hands and also f.....
(clapping fades)
Well, let's sing what's left of the last verse
Let's have a happy time, everyone
The last verse, al-l-l-l together
Ev-v-v-very one
Mm-m-m-m, thank you kindly, kindly
M-m-mrs, O'Malley, out in the valley
Suffered from ulcers, I understand
She swallowed a cake of grandma's lye soap
Has the cleanest ulcers in the land
Then let us all sing right out of grandma's
Of grandma's lye soap
Sing right out, all over the place
The pots and, the pots and pans, oh dirty dishes
And the hands..
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